Kirsty MacLeod

Hands have tilted the forests, cut hulls from oaks

Worked to sheers and garboards made tensed

And curved to open like expectant palms.

Resilience is caulked in the ribbed bellies

Of the boats. The builders knew the tide’s pitch

And the sea roads, the fishingways and the whaleways,

And the charted eye of the tree’s core

Casts ferned hoops from the islands, rings blooming

Like a net’s throw over depth and dark water.

There is a chronology of men in the wood,

Normans and John Normans, their voices

Seamed in the broads and the quiet keels.

The voices of the women waiting on the piers

Fleck the bows like spray. Their legacy cuts the waves,

Transient histories rising in a foamy wake.

published on the Journal of Wild Culture, 22/2/13

Flax-headed Ultach eye of a storm, he sleeps -

He of the Norse nose, now resident in London.

Cú Chulainn’s hounds are not biddable by me,

And do not gallop west through the tracked tunnels

Beneath the Thames but in my mind,

Like Philistines come to subdue him. “Come,

Prove to me the love that had you summon me from Clapham.

Blind with it you need not stray, nor I.”

The Fenian wolves dash and snarl at the door of love.

Trim then his beard, but with gentle hands – he sleeps.

With the shepherding fingers of a Gael

I will take his locks.

Shorn and becalmed, shall he be as any man.

Published online, Journal of Wild Culture 14/1/2013

Regardless of your age, if you have grown up in Britain this scene will be ingrained on your cultural subconscious. “Play it nice and cool son, nice and cool, you know what I mean?” says Derek “Del Boy” Trotter, before moving to lean on a lifted bar counter, falling out of shot to canned laughter in one of the most celebrated British television moments of all time.

The multi-award winning and much-loved “Only Fools and Horses” is set for a US remake, taking the basic premise of two canny brothers looking to get rich quick to an American market. John Leguizamo of “Romeo and Juliet” fame is set to take the role of Del Boy - in the original a street-savvy but luckless Peckham market trader played by (now Sir) David Jason - with stand-up comic David Ybarra usurping Nicholas Lyndhurst as younger and even more hapless brother Rodney.

“Only Fools and Horses” began filming in 1981, ran for seven series, and has been resurrected numerous times for one-off specials, one of which holds the record for the highest UK audience for a sitcom episode. Over a third of the population tuned in to watch “Time on our Hands” in 1996, a testament to how the British public took the show to their hearts. Throughout the Thatcherite 1980’s the exploits of the Trotter brothers with their money-making schemes provided comedy in the face of austerity, but also echoed the nation’s mood of resourcefulness and resilience in a difficult decade. The trademark Trotter three-wheeled Reliant Regal van became a symbol of working-class pluck, and the storylines, while comedic, stressed a family-centric and community-based set of values that reflected both the time and setting.

Could something with such deeps roots in British subculture work in an American series? While Guy Ritchie’s films have popularised the “diamond geezer” on the big screen, there is no obvious equivalent in American culture; though the rough-edged housing estate backdrop of greater London undoubtedly has parallels in the US, these come with cultural subtexts of their own.

David Jason himself doubts that the series will translate: “It might work but you’ve got to change it so much that, in the change, in order to Americanise it, do you lose the whole concept of the piece?” he told the Radio Times. “It’s so London and so British… that you wonder.”  “The Office” is a good example of how a show, stripped of its bitter, awkward British humour, could become an entirely different creature in the Steve Carell-headed American remake. When it comes to the beloved “Only Fools” I think I’ll be sticking to the original. As Del Boy would say, lovely jubbly. 

The Cambridge Student, March 2012 here

New edition of The Cambridge Student - download here

Debate - Is chivalry sexist?

Full text:

We have all heard the old adage that the age of chivalry is dead, and you may even mutter it under your breath when some punk slams a door in your face without a backward glance. American politician Charles Sumner concluded the proverb by adding: “the age of humanity has come” – that we are all, in fact, just humans – a fairly bold statement given that at the time, “human” rights in America didn’t yet extend to black people, Native Americans, Jews and foreigners – let alone women.

So, does accepting that as human beings we are all owed the right to equality mean that chivalry is a necessary sacrifice to exclude sexism from society? Apparently so – because while it is deemed acceptable for women to adopt an attitude that borders on man-bashing in the name of “feminism” (for example in unashamedly female-targeted advertising), it is not acceptable for a man to take pride in the sort of mannerly behaviour that was historically associated with the highest orders of society – the word chivalry itself comes from the French chevalier, meaning knight.

It is hard to find a definition of chivalry that does not draw on these historical connotations of knightliness and gallantry, and of course it is true that you don’t even need to look as far back as medieval times to find that historically, while women were being chivalrously jousted over, they were being valued predominantly as goods and chattels. But that doesn’t mean that chivalry has to be consigned to the past along with bustles, a baby a year, and Suzie Home-Maker in her starchy apron. Let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater. The idea of chivalry might make you raise an eyebrow if you are of the bra-burning persuasion, but it should be fairly clear that its antonyms, as qualities in men, are not ok: “rude”, “boorish”, “dishonourable”. Lest we forget, being treated equally as women does not mean being treated badly.

Feminists come in many forms. As an example, I took my bike to a male friend to attend to some problems with my chain, and to have the seat raised. A female friend in attendance was horrified that I wouldn’t first try to do it myself.  I won’t argue that what a man can do, a woman can too - but by allowing a man to change a tyre for me, or carry my bags (or yes, fix my bike chain), I’m not encouraging sexual stereotyping; I’m just acknowledging that I’m not as good at something as some others might be, and sometimes that does mean men. Not to mention that as a woman I’m simply statistically less likely to own a spanner, and I’m not bothered enough by that to go and buy one. Most women are not as strong as most men – fact. But accepting assistance, even if it is just an opened door, doesn’t mean accepting that you’re weak.

Just as singling out and celebrating Black History Month isn’t racist, singling out and treating women with extra care and “chivalry” isn’t sexist. To say that it is, is to say that there is nothing special about women, and nothing worth celebrating with that simple action of deference and politeness. Femininity is the possession of qualities generally attributed to a woman – and we are lucky enough to be attributed with grace and humility. It is possible to be strong, confident and independent woman - and feminine at the same time. In a media-based society that relentlessly sexualises women, it seems contradictory to condemn behaviour that is based on respect. Don’t contextualise kindness. And don’t ever close a door in my face.

This January marked the one hundred year anniversary of the formation of the African National Congress, a party which survived illegality and the imprisonment of its leaders for much of the last century to dominate South African politics following the dismantling of apartheid and the 1994 election of Nelson Mandela. Nearly two decades later, the jury is out on whether the ANC is delivering. With the future leadership of the party in doubt, corruption claims ever at the forefront, and the looming shadow of the banished youth leader (the militant Julius Malema) constantly threatening to throw the party into chaos, the fissures within an organisation that was galvanised by oppression but which has struggled to maintain relevance and unity as a ruling party have never been more in evidence.

Critics claim that the ANC of the present is a far cry from the party that created liberation heroes like Mandela, Tambo and Sisulu. Today’s party rests on the laurels of past achievements while its high-ranking members grab what they can – an ethos embodied by its leader of three years, Jacob Zuma. While embroiled in constant corruption charges, he sings outdated freedom songs at political rallies and plays on the all-important struggle credentials of a Robben Island prison term, courting the continued loyalty of the previously unheard black vote, though the basic needs of many of these people are still not being met.

Although there is evidence from economists that the expansion of social grants since 1999 has reduced extreme poverty significantly, the United Nations Environment Programme estimated that 39% of the population of 49 million continues to live on less than R388 a month – the equivalent of thirty one pounds. The expensive division of the previous four provinces into nine, which are almost without exception overwhelmingly poorly run, has led to a massive failure to deliver on crucial public services like housing and healthcare, as well as an increase in government corruption at a local level. Zuma, who infamously said that showering after sex eliminated the risk of contracting HIV, has done little to curb the country’s rampant AIDS epidemic. Previous President Thabo Mbeki’s Black Economic Empowerment scheme, despite perhaps having better intentions, has manifested itself in the hiring and promotion of unqualified black people over qualified white people to fill government-set quotas which has led to a mass exodus of skilled workers, and incompetence in important sectors of industry. Furthermore, a controversial secrecy bill that protects information deemed to be pertinent to broadly-defined national interest - to the extent that reporting political corruption and human rights abuses could become illegal - has undermined the credibility of a government that under Mandela strove for absolute transparency.

On the surface it would seem that little has actually changed for the majority of South Africans under the ANC. The party is a different beast from the liberation movement that achieved democracy against all the odds - a steady economic decline under the rule of a government now defined by cronyism and sub-standard service delivery leaves it at its weakest and most divided. As the sheen wears off the centenary celebrations, it remains to be seen whether the ANC can rescue the legitimacy and unity needed to match the breath-taking accomplishments of its past.

Download the full copy of The Cambridge Student here…

I remember vividly the first CD I ever bought, which was, if you’re interested, “C’est la vie” by B*witched. It was 1998, I was ten, denim jackets were in, and “C’est la Vie” taught me to win the hearts of boys that I was not yet interested in by using French phrases completely out of context. From then on CDs were all I wanted, and quantity was definitely more crucial than quality.

Fast forward quite a long time to 2008. I’m 20, and denim jackets are only in if you’re Jeremy Clarkson. The interweb has become a major part of daily life thanks to Facebook and YouTube, the latter of which has already gone a long way towards contributing some nails to the coffin of The Generic Record Store. And, I’ve just discovered Spotify, which will more or less design the casket, and buy sarnies for the gravediggers.

“Spotify,” I say in an awe-struck whisper. “You are the best thing to ever happen to me.” I have literally millions of songs at my fingertips. I instantly create playlists full of songs that I already own, and listen to the same things over and over again. No matter - I will never need to buy a CD again, let alone take a risk on one I might not like. You can see a review of a new release on the Guardian homepage, watch the video on YouTube and add the album to a playlist in under 5 minutes.

Musical fulfilment, right? Well, no, apparently. Call me indulgent, a disciple of the techno-era having a bit of a, frankly ungrateful, strop - but when I drag an album into a playlist on Spotify, it feels like just that - I am dragging it to a place it doesn’t want to be. I feel pangs of guilt. I walk faster past HMV and Fopp. They know that I’m a cheapskate, and they are judging me through their hipster specs and assymetrical fringes. I have cheated the music industry, and I have cheated myself.

Fast-forward again, to 2011. I am in an independent book shop with a small, artful CD collection that I walk past several times, and which I give suspicious sidelong glances. As soon as I have picked up a CD I know I am in trouble. I have a crisp twenty, and it’s burning through my pocket. One album is propped up and facing out, with an especially enthusiastic handwritten note on it, the gist of which is “This album is like a golden ray of joy.” Something about my recent musical history makes me feel like I could use a golden ray of joy. I know I’m going to buy it. For the first time in years, I buy a CD.

And then something happens. I buy a little CD player in Argos called a boombox, which makes me sound like I’m trying to bring back the 80’s. So what! Maybe I am! Take that technology! I become buddyish with the weekend staff in Fopp, and actually buy a couple of the albums I’ve had on Spotify playlists. It feels like getting married after years of living in sin. “Spotify,” I say (a little harshly given all the good times), “you are practically dead to me.”

Denim jacket days are over, and cassettes are finished. Let’s face it, I’m not ten anymore either, and a lot of things aren’t as exciting as they were then. But music still is. As I type, Devendra Banhart is spinning on the boombox next to me and my love of music is renewed. So do yourself a favour, if you’re reading this. Shut down the computer, and go out and buy yourself a CD. Listen to it, enjoy it, and get excited again.

My review of @jamesvmcmorrow ‘s “Early in the Morning” in this week’s edition of The Cambridge Student.

Alas, this was edited quite a bit - it should have said “this album defies the limitations of the folk genre” rather than just “its limitations”… nevertheless a good excuse for me to bang on about how much I love love love this album.

Good morning Cambridge…

Three people were tried for the 2007 murder of British exchange student Meredith Kercher, but chances are you’ll only remember one. Since the beginning of the investigation of her involvement, Amanda Knox, Meredith’s American room-mate, has aroused the sort of ‘love her or loathe her’ ardour usually reserved for celebrities and sports stars. Her looks and enigmatic behaviour throughout the trial earned her the tabloid nickname “Foxy Knoxy”, thrusting her into the media spotlight where she remained for the next four years, an interest which is likely to survive her sensational acquittal last week.

The Kercher case remains a mass of complications, hallmarked by the gross mishandling of evidence (and indeed, suspects) by the Italian police. It was an opera of fingers pointed, confessions recanted, accusations of police brutality, and at its very heart, two beautiful women - one sexually assaulted and killed - the other photographed smiling in the docks as she stood trial for her friend’s death.

In a country where the Prime Minister’s boasts of promiscuity are shrugged off and politics is rife with sexual scandal, the misogyny displayed by the Italian police, justice system and press is perhaps not surprising, though it is ironic. The lead investigator of the case, Edgardo Giobbi, says he “knew” Knox was guilty because of the way she behaved, and the press followed suit – because she was too calm, because she sat on her boyfriend’s lap during interrogation and heavens above - because she owned a vibrator, and kept condoms in her beauty case.

The portrayal of Amanda Knox has swung in bipolar extremes. She has been a femme fatale, and an angel wronged. Theories arose of satanic rituals, or sordid sex games gone awry. Journalists unable to make up their minds ran pieces like “Five reasons why Amanda Knox is innocent… and five reasons why she is not.” Regardless of the angle, the formula was always the same – scandal and speculation with a token picture of doe-eyed Knox, her inscrutable smile open to any hack’s interpretation.

Try, if you can, to bring to mind the faces of her co-accused, Raffaele Sollecito or Rudy Guede. It may be cynical to say that sex sells, but the media’s ruthless singling out of a beautiful female face did not start with Amanda Knox, and nor will it end with her. Kate McCann, mother of the missing Madeleine, has been in turn sanctified and vilified by a press hungry for gossip, while husband Gerry has largely escaped scrutiny. During the phone hacking enquiries at News of the World it was not Andy Coulson or James Murdoch but the glamorous flame-haired Rebekah Brooks who was held up for front-page public disgrace.

As Knox prepares to pen her account and face the American media, she may find her unwelcome fame a profitable double-edged sword. Love her or loathe her, thanks to the media’s willingness to provide scandal and sex rather than preserve a young woman’s reputation and privacy - a different kind of misogyny - you certainly won’t forget her.

As September ended with extraordinary scenes of an Indian Summer sweeping England, we were literally living in record-breaking times. Temperatures as high as 29.9 °C smashed records for four consecutive days, three of which had been held for over a hundred years. Britain’s newspapers printed front pages showing beach-goers sweltering in huge crowds, and summery scenes in parks nationwide – but though stories of the UK’s heatwave were being printed alongside news of extreme flooding in Cambodia and hurricane warnings over the Atlantic, none broached a difficult question: was this another example of an extreme weather event, and could it be attributed to climate change?

“Scientists are wary of attributing any one specific weather or climate event to climate change, although they are getting more vocal about the trends in temperature and rainfall changes and how those link to climate change,” says Rob Sassor, whose Conservation Leadership MPhil thesis focused on how environmental issues are reported in the media. “This issue is tricky because ‘climate’ and ‘weather’ are somehow synonymous in the minds of the general public, but it’s not that simple.”

Links between extreme weather events that occur over short periods of time and longer term changes in climate due to human influence have been stressed by activists such as Al Gore, but this approach has led to criticism from scientists such as Myles Allan, the head of the Climate Dynamics Group at the University of Oxford. The science behind quantification of the influence of humans on the risk of extreme weather incidents is complex, and while anthropogenic influence is heavily blamed in some instances, it is not implicated at all in others. According to studies, greenhouse gas emissions increase the likelihood of certain events, but decrease the probability of others, sending mixed messages to the public and creating a challenging environment for environmental campaigners.

As a County Councillor and intern at Fauna and Flora International, Sarah Whitebread has experience of the difficulties of communicating environmental issues to the public. “If whenever we have a heat wave we start saying “Look! It’s Global Warming!” then whenever we get a cold snap in spring all the climate sceptics say “Global Warming - what a load of nonsense.” We clearly can’t base our arguments on one offs like that.”

Analysis of data gathered by the University’s Weather Station suggests that the autumnal heat wave we have seen this October is indeed something of a “one off”, and not indicative of a pattern of increasing temperatures. Average monthly temperatures recorded in October for the past sixteen years show that while this month so far has been unusually hot, there has been no increase in average October temperatures from 1996. Similarly, peak summer temperatures also show no pattern of increase, with July averages fluctuating around a mean of 18 °C.

October’s spike in temperature may have been an anomalous weather phenomenon, but this month’s heat was preceded by an unusually dry summer. 2011 will go down as a year of drought in the UK and many other countries, suggestive of longer-term changes in climate that may be cause for concern. After Britain saw the driest March in fifty years, no-one was more affected than the UK’s farmers. Roland Randall runs Monach Farm near Hilton, Cambridgeshire, a traditional livestock farm stocking cattle, pigs, sheep and poultry, as well as internationally renowned pedigree dairy goats. He estimates that this year’s drought cost him around six thousand pounds. “We had to take livestock off pasture 3 months earlier than normal, so feed cost more as we had to buy in concentrates. We could not source our winter hay locally so had to buy in from Bristol at 50% more than last year, plus haulage.”

Furthermore, Randall noticed changes in the flora and fauna on his farm. “We noticed breeding birds were out of sync with the main phase of insect abundance and several species including owls had a later brood once conditions improved in July.” The effects of such warm spells on animal and plant life may be severe. However, although reports such as Randall’s have suggested that bird breeding times may be affected, and migratory birds are being sighted after their normal period of departure for warmer climes, Dr Michael Brooke, Curator of Ornithology in the University Museum of Zoology, is sceptical that the heatwave will have long-lasting impacts.

“In so far as the English October record was broken, the weather was certainly unusual,” he says. “But frankly, a week of warm weather isn’t beyond birds’ physiological tolerance, so in terms of whether it will affect bird populations – probably not.” However, work conducted by his students has detected changes in the first appearance dates of hoverflies in conjunction with warming trends. Insects have first appeared earlier as the Springs have become warmer, trends that match those seen in a number of other species, and that strongly suggest long-term changes in the UK’s seasonal temperatures.

Although the British media largely chose not to invoke climate change arguments in their coverage of the October heatwave, do students find their attitudes to global warming altered by the unseasonable heat? “I do think the heat is related to global warming – and my conviction is strengthened due to other recent uncharacteristic weather patterns,” says Kathryn Noonan, a student from Massachusetts. “When I was younger we prayed for snow and it hardly ever came - now there are multiple blizzards. Summer is also hotter, so hot that it was nearly unbearable the whole time I was there in September, when by rights it should be cooling down, not maintaining heat wave standards.”

Dr Ben Phalan from the Department of Zoology’s Conservation Science Group again draws the key distinction between individual weather events and changes in climate patterns in his summation of what the heatwave means. “As an individual event, it doesn’t make much difference to my belief that climate change is a real and important problem. Extreme weather happens. It’s when such events stack up into long-term trends that we should pay attention to them.”

article here (page 24)